I was saddened when I heard about the shooting at Clackamas Town Center on 12/11/12. I was sitting in the truck about to go into the pharmacy and Daria and Mitch came on to give an 'update' on the shooting. It's one of those things, where you'll remember where you were. I followed the news on my phone much of that evening and into the next day. I was thankful to hear that while tragic, only two lives were lost. When I heard that 10,000 people were at the mall that day, and that the shooter was near the food court (always packed), I realize it could have been much worse. I am sad at the fact that we lost those lives. I am angry that I was apprehensive when I needed to stop at my own local mall and I was nervous to walk in. I am angry that I am looking at people very suspiciously when we're out in public.
That made me sad...
The events of Friday 12/14/12 broke my heart... It just so happens that at school in my class we were working in an assignment involving current news. Students were supposed to use news sources to find 'stories of resilience.' Thank goodness when Friday rolled around, the assignment was in the sharing phase, NOT the research phase. Nonetheless, one of my students first pulled up a news site mid morning and made mention of some school shooting. I didn't really think anything of it until I had my lunch break. All of lunch I was absolutely captivated by the news that some boy had gone in and shot at an elementary school.
I called Chris and told him that I kind of wanted to never leave home or go live under a rock. At this time, I didn't have too many of the details, and neither did any news people. I just knew that it was bad and that many children had died.
Over the course of the weekend, I have continued to keep tabs on the developing events, but I do this with a heavy heart. I am sickened to think that all of those children were just 6-7. I am honored to think of the work that educators in the school did to keep further harm from occurring. I am terrified that I could be in a situation like this some day. I simply can't fathom myself being in this role, and I can only hope that if the situation arose, I would have the bravery that those men and women did. Everytime I think of those innocent children, and their forever altered families, I get really sad. That's not even a strong enough word. That community didn't deserve this.. hell no community deserves this. No good time for this to occur, but seriously, a week and a half before Christmas. This community will forever have a tarnished holiday season, and I know it has been stamped into my heart...
I tried to talk to my classes a teeny tiny bit about the events just because I knew it would be blowing up their social media and it would definitely be talked about this weekend. Right after lunch I talked to one group, but I kind of ended the conversation myself because I seriously almost started crying in front of them. The next class, I was a bit more controlled, but we didn't have much time to converse about it. But my fourth period, who I happen to spend a great deal of time with, wow, we had a really great conversation! I told them a few of the broadstroking details. I told them that their families would decide how in-depth they would go with details. It just so happens that we are knee-deep in a project called Resilience Cafe. It is ALL ABOUT sharing stories of resilience. I started my conversation by telling them about how they are able to watch stories of resilience happening right now in our community and across the nation. The mall opened back up on Friday, people had to show resilience to go shopping there again. The community of Newton, will one day have to return to school and work. That will take resilience. I was telling them that some people have been leary of this project (why do we have to go learn someone's tragic story anyway, what's the importance in that). Well THIS is exactly why we're learning about resilience. We have to figure out how to come out the other side of this stronger, and live our life despite the fear and sheer terror that these events invoke. One of my students said "Mrs. Holm, I finally get it, we have to learn about resilience because when these bad things happen in the world, we have to learn how to pick ourselves back up and move on". Yes, yes we do.
While I am struggling to show resilience, while I am broken-hearted that we lost 20 beautifully innocent children, I am proud that I will continue my work, protect and teach my students, and love my family!
If you endured through my ramblings, thanks, I just had to find my platform to speak my own mind.
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